A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named "Administratium."

Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete, when it normally takes less than 1 second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay but instead, it undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons, deputy neutrons, and assistant deputy neutrons, exchange places. In fact Administratium's mass will actually increase over time since each re-organization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referenced to as "Critical Morass."